May contain traces of G&S
by Meowgan
Summary: Not just your usual Hermione and Draco have a telepathetic mindlink ficlet. Read and review, please.
1. Chapter 1

_Draco!_

_What, __Granger_

_Nothing._

Hermione smiled sweetly to herself. This day was going just fine. She'd refused to help Draco with his schoolwork twice, finished reading a book on muggle musicals, and she didn't have to patrol corridors that night.

_Draco!_

_What, Granger?_

_Are you paying attention to McGonagall?_

_Of course I'm not paying attention to McGonagall. I'm staring at your arse, you silly __mudblood_

_No need to be rude, Draco._

_Says the girl who's been pestering me all day? Not likely._

_Draco, that didn't even make sense._

_Just shut it, Granger. I'd love to stay and chat, but I doubt you'__d help me with my work and there's no other reason that I could think of to talk to you._

Hermione's smile quickly changed to a smirk. The weasel was gonna get his comeuppance soon.

They'd been having telepathic conversations like this all morning, mostly exchanges of snide remarks. It was all down to a mix-up in the potions class a few days ago. Hermione was ready to put her plan into action. She was certain that McGonagall was unaware of the enforced link between the head boy and girl's minds and well, Snape wouldn't have punished Draco anywhere nearly as severely as McGonagall would. No other class would do, the two were only together for potions and transfiguration.

_Draco?_

_Just go away._

_But don't you want to know what I really feel about you?_

_That I'm a sexy hunk of __Slytherin_

_That. But there's more._

_Well, out with it. It better be good._

_Oh, it is._

_Well, are you ready?_

_Granger, you're wasting my precious time._

_Can't you think and stare at the same time?_

_I can. Just get on with it._

_I am the very model of a modern major general. I've information vegetable, animal and mineral. I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical from Marathon to __Waterloo in order categorical. _

_Granger, has anyone told you that you cannot sing?_

_I'M VERY WELL ACQUAINTED TOO WITH MATTERS MATHEMATICAL. I UNDERSTAND EQUATIONS BOTH THE SIMPLE AND QUADRATIC-_

_Quiet, Granger! _

_ABOUT BINOMIAL THEOREM I'M TEEMING WITH A LOT OF NEWS. __WITH MANY CHEERFUL FACTS ABOUT THE SQUARE OF THE HYPOTENUSE._

_Granger, this isn't funny._

_I'm finding this very funny. How about if I speed it up a bit? There are a few verses still to go, and after that we can do Poor Wandering One and With Cat Like Tread. Unless of course, you'd prefer that I repeat this one for the rest of the lesson?_

_I'd prefer it if you never thought, spoke or sang again._

_I can hum?_

_No._

_Fine.__ I'm very good at integral and differential calculus. __I know the scientific names of beings __animalculous__In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral__I am the very model of a modern Major-General__I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir __Caradoc's__I answer hard __acrostics,__ I've a pretty taste for paradox__I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus__In conics I can floor peculiarities __parabolous__I can tell undoubted __Raphaels__ from Gerard Dows and __Zoffanies__I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes__Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore__ a__nd whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore_

"Granger, shut up!"

"Mr. Malfoy, Ms. Granger is on the other side of the room from you and I'm sure that no one else heard her say a word. Perhaps you should concentrate on your work, rather than your Granger-central fantasies. 20 points from Slytherin and if I hear another peep from you I'll put you on detention peeling vegetables in the kitchens."

_Granger, you'll pay._

_Darling, there are still four verses where that came from._


	2. Chapter 2

O mai. Written in wordpad, so I apologise for any errors. (:

Disclaimer: I'm writing this at midnight, so it'll likely be a bit crap. I do not own JK Rowling's world, or the one owned by Gilbert and Sullivan.

Note: Gilbert and Sullivan wrote the song lyrics used in this fic. Go look up the Mikado and Pirates of Penzance.

Hermione yawned, it was late. She'd drawn the curtains around her bed and had been reading for several hours. She squinted at her clock, 2:04am. The girls must've assumed that she'd been studying and wisely left her be. Hermione smiled, she'd been doing nothing of the sort. She put down her book, An Extended History of Musical Theatre, and changed into her pajamas.

_Oh, Draco. Are you awake?_

_Only because you woke me up._

_Oh my, that was a bit rude, wasn't it?_

Hermione hoped that he could tell that she had something planned. She smirked, and concentrated on broadcasting smirkwaves. It wasn't a sound physical theory, but nothing in magic ever was.

_Granger, shut up. I don't care for anything you could possibly say to me. Although you could tell me what you're wearing so I can imagine how hideous you must look in it._

_Hmmph. _

The smirk lessened, though not by much. Hermione started to mentally count down. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4-

_Fine Granger, what is it?_

_Oh, not much, I just wanted to see how you were._

_Granger, although I don't need my beauty sleep to stay my gorgeous self, I do enjoy it. _

_And?_

_Shut up._

_But?_

_But nothing._

_But I was gonna tell you something._

_That's what you said last time. Listen, I know you've got something planned, you reek of it. I'm not in the mood for it, so dont you even try._

_What are you in the mood for?_

_Granger, shut it. Even Parkinson is sexier than you._

Hermione was confused. She hadn't realised that her words could have been interpreted like that. So this was flirting, she was sure she didn't like it.

_Draco Malfoy! I was not suggesting that._

_Pah!_

_Do you honestly believe that eveyrone maid in the school adores the ground you walk on?_

_Of course I do. I've seen the way you look at me._

_I do not!_

_He was teasing, she knew it. She could feel his smirk in the back of her mind._

_You know what, Malfoy?_

_What, Granger._

_Three little maids from school are we, pert as a school-girl well can be, filled to the brim with girlish glee. Three little maids from school._

_This is not happening._

_Everything is a source of fun, nobody's safe, for we care for none, life is a joke that's just begun. Three little maids from school._

_Granger, we all remember where this led us last time._

_What? With you in detention?_

_Granger, you can't even sing._

_Stop changing the subject. And I can. Three little maids who, all unwary come from a ladies' seminary. Freed from its genius tutelary, three little maids from school. Three little maids from school!_

_Oh I see. Now you're gonna prove it to me._

_There are only 6 verses to this._

_ONLY 6 verses!_

_And of course I'll have to sing each one twice._

_I hate you._

_One little maid is a bride, Yum-Yum. Two little maids in attendance come, three little maids is the total sum. Three little maids from school. Three little maids from school! From three little maids take one away, two little maids remain, and they won't have to wait very long, they say. Three little maids from school, three little maids from school!_

_Granger, shut it now. Before I'm forced to do something I regret._

_And what would that be?_

_Come up there and murder you._

_And why do you say that?_

_Because you're a nuisance, but at least you're not singing at the moment._

_Oh, singing was it? I love singing._

Short but kinda fun. Teh end. (:

Aside note: I didn't like the original second chapter. And this one fits much better. So I got bored and replaced it with this. I might rewrite the other chapter in the correct style, with a bit more plot and a more iconic song next time I get bored.


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